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June 18, 2012
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Harfang p22 -chap02- by auroreblackcat Harfang p22 -chap02- by auroreblackcat
Harfang is a webcomic I am doing.
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Read in french : [link]
Read in english : MangaMagazine [link] or Smackjeeves [link]
Read in korean : [link]

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ENGLISH TRANSLATION
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My english is bad, don't hesitate to correct my grammar.
Thank you ! ^__^

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:iconjulienchatillon:
julienchatillon Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012
Avec beaucoup de retard, c'était la fin de l'année scolaire et les test s'empilaient sur le bureau ;-)

Deuxième bulle, j'aurais tendance à dire "and it's nice to take shelter from the rain here." En effet, usuellement, on shelter something et non pas soit même.
De plus dans le cas d'être humain to be sheltered ne vas s'employer que si on est à l'abris avant la pluie et que la pluie arrivant on reste à l'abri. Si on prend abri quelque part cela sera to take shelter. Ce qui est notre cas présent. En soit c'est comme en français.

Troisième bulle, Because of the rain the mountain road is slippery and dangerous. Là c'est une question de scansion. La manière dont tu l'as écrit au départ le rend imprononçable en une seule respiration. I'm picky, sorry.

Avant dernière case, pour de questions de locution nord-américaine, peut-être que les anglais font différemment
I'm bored. I don't like waiting, doing nothing.

Dernière case
Tell me, aren't we in the blue cave ?

By the way s'utilise comme le au fait en français, ce qui n'est pas ce que tu as rédigé en français.

Voili voilou, je devrais être plus fréquent ces prochains jours.
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:iconrinoadestiny:
RinoaDestiny Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012
They're so cute together! =D I really like the guy's expression in the middle panel - he just looks so 'meh', hahaha.
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:iconmariaarnt:
MariaArnt Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012
My only suggestion is that "It's a shower, that'll pass quickly" should either be "It's a shower, it'll pass quickly" or "It's a shower that'll pass quickly." The first implies that all showers pass quickly. The second implies that there is something about this shower that makes him think it will pass quickly. The way it is now, the "that" is structured to imply something outside the present sentence, possibly the slipperiness of the roads. It's a bit awkward, if that's the intention.
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:iconauroreblackcat:
auroreblackcat Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for your help ^^
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:iconmariaarnt:
MariaArnt Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012
No problem. As a professional proofreader, I really enjoy this sort of thing. ^.^
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:iconfeliane:
Feliane Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ils ont une sacrée couche de vêtements, ils ne doivent pas avoir froid ! (qd c sec du moins)
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:iconchichiboo:
Chichiboo Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Student Writer
"And at least we are under cover here." sounds a little weird. Maybe instead it could be, "It is nice to be sheltered from the rain." Or something to that effect. Under cover implies that they are hiding. You can argue that they are hiding from the rain, but this specifically means that their actions are intended to occur in secret.
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:iconauroreblackcat:
auroreblackcat Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for your help ^__^
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:iconmariaarnt:
MariaArnt Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012
I would suggest "At least we're out of the rain here" since it has the same tone as what's there already.
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:iconchichiboo:
Chichiboo Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Student Writer
That's a great suggestion! I would go with your edit than mine.
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